What Happens When I'm Mad?

:This is what happens if I'm mad:

...I will sigh a lot than usual...
...I couldn't smile properly...
...you won't see my happy eyes...
...I will be very ignorant...
...you can feel my aura of anger...
...I will tend to imagine violent things to please myself...
...I tend to look at people in a scary way....
...When walking I will often look down...
...I tend to eat a lot...
...I will curse a lot silently...
...I won't care about my health...
...I won't care if I get knock down...
...I would have the urge to punch people in the face...
...I won't talk much...
...I tend to draw when I'm mad...
...I tend to reply people in a harsh way...
...I tend to shout/scream/yell all of the sudden...

:Advice:
Please don't get me mad
even I don't like it when I'm mad

Yui Makino - You Are My Love

ame ni nureta hoho wa
namida no nioi ga shita
yasashii manazashi no
tabibito

The faint scent of tears
On my rain soaked cheeks
The warm look on the face
Of travelers

shizuka ni hibiiteru
natsukashii ongaku
omoidasenai kioku
samayou

The music from our childhood
Faintly echoes in the background
The memories I hopelessly try to remember
Wander aimlessly

yume wa tobitatsu no chiisana tsubasa de
omoi no kienai basho made
futari de
tooi umi wo sora wo koete

But with these tiny wings, launched by my dreams
Over distant oceans and skies
We'll soar together
To a place where memories never fade

kurai yoru no naka de
watashi wo terashiteru
yasashii manazashi no
anata ni
aitai...

You light up the way for me
In the darkness of night
Oh, that warm look
On your face
I miss you so much

-----------------------------------

I've been listening to this song
over and over again today
It's the best song I know
When you hear the song
it is as if the singer is singing exactly what you feel
when you're in love
and when you lost your love
It's great for both happy moments
and sad moments

When I listen to this song
My sweetheart figure appears to my mind
When I hear this song
I remember all the moments that I spend
with my love
All the happy moments will be remembered
and all the sad moments will be forgotten
Love is truly such a powerful feeling
I love him very much

:To The One That I Call My Love:
Please forgive my mistakes
I have being cruel to you
by hurting your feelings
I'm truly sorry
Please don't leave me my love
Never leave me alone
I've given up my entire life to you
There is no future without you
I love you
and I truly miss you

Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge

I just finish watching this anime about a minute ago
and I really love this anime!

The Wallflower
(ヤマトナデシコ七変化, Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge)
is about a girl who was called "ugly" by a boy,
the first and only person to whom she confessed her love.
This incident sparks a life change,
and as a result Sunako shuns all forms of beauty,
both in herself as well as in life.
Concerned by her change for the worst,
Sunako's aunt,
the owner of a beautiful mansion
where four very handsome students live,
offers the guys free rent in her mansion
if they can turn Sunako into a "perfect lady"
While the four of them
manage to make Sunako physically beautiful enough to become a lady,
the problem lies with her attitude and interests
(which Sunako has no intention of changing).
Up until the most recent release in the story,
they've managed to convince Sunako's aunt
that her niece is indeed a lady befitting the mansion
in which they live
(and prevent the rent from skyrocketing to triple the required amount).
However, in reality,
Sunako has not changed considerably

My first impression of the anime was
B.O.R.I.N.G.
because it is as if you know what's going to happen
and I really hate how they draw Sunako in the other form
as in like a chibi but not chibi
But like what most people say
you have to finish what you've started
So yeah as I watched it
I began to like the anime
After all
It IS from my favourite anime artist
hehe
(the same artist that releases Paradise Kiss and NANA)

Loveless

Another one of my favourite anime
You can see this anime
at the column on the right
where I place most of my favourite anime

On his first day at his new school,
twelve-year-old Ritsuka Aoyagi
meets a mysterious twenty-year-old male
named Soubi Agatsuma Soubi
claims to be a good friend of Ritsuka's brother, Seimei,
who was murdered a few months earlier.
Upon the inspection of Seimei's abandoned computer files,
Ritsuka discovers that an organization
called 'Seven Moons' (Nana no tsuki 七の月)
was responsible for Seimei's death.
As Ritsuka quickly discovers,
Seimei and Soubi acted as a pair involved in spell battles invoked
by carefully selected words.
Now Soubi is Ritsuka's 'sentouki',
or Fighter Unit,
and Ritsuka is his 'Sacrifice'.
Together,
they challenge Seven Moons
to find out the truth behind Seimei's murder
and the reason for Ritsuka's amnesia,
and form an intimate bond as they unravel the mystery.

This anime is a mix anime
as in it's a Yaoi, Yuri and also Straight

Had A Car Accident While Doing My Driving Practical

Yes I got into an accident
but it was just a minor accident
nobody got hurt
The story goes like this
It was a Wednesday morning
and I was practicing my driving skills
My tutor let me drive alone
since he thinks that I can already drive on my own without his help
So I did
and drove all around the training center
It was when I was doing a cornering
My mind suddenly shuts down
I didn't know what happened at that time
until when I woke up and realized
that I'm almost going to hit a car
Then I quickly hit the brakes
but it was too late.
So I hit cars
yeah....cars
as in 3 cars at once
that's eve terrible than hitting 1 car
and when I see my tutor's face
I didn't know what he was thinking
because I know he was taking all the blame
I felt guilty at that time for my carelessness
but everyone said it was okay
because I'm still a beginner
So no one got mad at me
but still I feel guilty

I went to my sweetheart's house after that
My sweetheart did his best to comfort me
And that was when I was finally calmed down

11th of April 2010 - Bakat Interact

[That's my teddy bear]
Taken by Angelica E. S.

If you ask me
about how was Bakat Interact
I'd say
It was such a great disappointment just like the pass years ones
Except one group
Silent Motion
or whatever they call themselves
One of my friend is in that group
and I can't deny that they really perform like professionals
Of course I know my friend could dance well
but whenever I see him dancing
it's like....woah....
you know what I mean
and the rest of the group
sucks

Don't get me wrong here
just because my friend is in that group
it doesn't mean that
it's the reason why I like the group so much okay

I've had enough of people talking about me
Spreading rumors that I like someone else besides my sweetheart
or having an affair with someone
or even sleeping with someone else in a hotel
or that I'm pregnant with someone else baby
Although
I know that never happen actually
but yeah
the first two are true the rest I just made up
just to make it like a little bit dramatic
Haha~

One more thing
I hate most people who went to Bakat Interact that day
to me they're just fools and idiots
or maybe it's just me being so anti-social nowadays
...shrugs...

:Summary can be seen in bold words:

Influence by Friends

You know
I used to be that girl
who never curse because she's afraid to do so.
It's like cursing is a deathliest sin
However
as time goes by
I realize that I'm starting to curse a lot
until I don't even know why and when I got it
I'm guessing it's from my friends
They normally curse a lot
and I usually always say to them
"Stop cursing you guys!"
and as usual they won't listen to me
no matter how many times I advice them.
Now
it's like everyone does it

Drinking alcoholic drinks
is also one of the influence from my friends
but I only drink like once in a year
since I get a clear picture of the effect it can do to me.
It's not really a nice picture by the way.
And it's not really nice to be drunk
because people tend to act immature
and do immature things

However
there's one thing that can never influence me
which is smoking cigarettes
I can NEVER ever smoke a cigarette
Why?
Because it would just mean like I'm killing myself
You people freaking don't know what illness
that I've been suffering since I was born
YES! SINCE I WAS BORN
Mark my words man!
SINCE I WAS BORN!
So yeah
I wouldn't do such stupid thing
because it wouldn't just hurt me
it would hurt everyone else
and I will never let that happen!
So next time
when you want to offer me a cigarette
think again
and think hard
or you'll just end up losing a bunch of cigarette in that box
because surely I'll take them
and crush it right in front of your eyes
and throw it onto the ground
and stomp it hard
while watching your pathetic face.

Okay
I know I went far about the cigarette thing
but yeah
I dislike people who smoke cigarettes

Guy Friends - Before and Now

Before
When I was still studying in a secondary school
I had a lot of guy friends
and when I say guy friends
it means just friends and nothing more.
All I wanted was just to have fun
it doesn't matter if their a girl or a guy
having fun is what matters.

However
it's different for now
I can say that the number of (true) guy friends that I have
reduce from 80% to 5%
I feel like I can only trust a few
and from that information
it doesn't bring goodness at all
the guys that I seem to meet with
turns out to be somewhat pervert people
All they talk to me is about having sex
and jokes about sex
It's not something to laugh on you know
I really dislike it
I know that talking about it once in a while is fine
but maybe it's because they talk about it so often
that I got sick of it.
I got sick of listening to their jokes
I got sick of listening to that particular word
I hate it when I see guys (apart from my sweetheart)
All I can see in them is wanting to have sex and having fun
I mean...can't they think about anything else?
Like how to get money
or even getting into college?
I also dislike people who talks about
their experience going to night clubs
I mean I don't mind hearing it once in a while
what I don't like is being surrounded by people or so called 'friends'
who goes to night clubs every night.
What's the goodness in it anyway?
One, they say you get to deal with your stress
and Two you get to forget the most painful memories
I was like
"Yeah right and in the end you become stupid
because you drink too much alcoholic drink"
Urgh!
I don't even know why I'm so angry right now!

It's like I can't trust guys anymore
The only people whom I trust and whom are the opposite gender
are my sweetheart
my dad
my brother
and my sweetheart's best friends.

Another thing that makes it so difficult for me is
I don't really have that much girl friends.
The only girl friends that I have are
my classmate during in secondary school
and my one and only best friend Angelica S.
It's really hard for me to go out these days
because my mum won't let me out without any company
The only guy she'll let me go out with is my sweetheart
Surprising isn't it? But I'm grateful.
Yet,
I don't even want to go out with guys alone
unless he is my sweetheart of course.

Oh
and I have no interest in guys apart from my sweetheart
No interest at all

::NOTE::
I'm not saying all guys are like that

We just finish talking on the phone a few minutes ago
I'm really happy when I talked to him
His words lightens up my spirit
He made me think the world was ours
I actually smiled when I heard his voice

Although,
there's one thing that he said to
something so valuable that I'm don't think I can ever forget
but I still want to write it here in my blog
just in case if one day
I changed
and I forget
everything that he had said to me.
This is exactly what he said to me
"just in case if one day you fall out of love from me
remember these words
I'll always love you.
And if you ever fall out of love
I'll always be willing to let you go
Because you know why?
If you realize that you love me
If you realize that I'm the right person for you
You'll always come back to me
no matter what"

Forever I will keep his heart in mine

Indeed
the real world is big and frightening.
But, I know what to do when I'm scared.
I'll just think about that
one person I love the most
and all my scary thoughts will vanish.
He gives me that warm feeling I love the most.
A feeling that's so calm and comfortable
that you could just wish it will forever be that way.
His smile would just melt my heart once I see it.
His calm and sweet voice is like music to my ears.
A music which others cannot hear.
Such sweet memories.
Such a short time.
Don't you just wish the time would stop
when you're with someone you love
doing something so memorable.
May the people who read this be witnesses of my love towards him.
May these words be the one that stop time
from spoiling the feeling that I have for him.
May these words immortalize
the feelings that I have for him.
May it live forever and ever.
I love you my love.
Forever I will.
Even if you get me mad.
I can't deny that I can never let you go
or that I love you.
I miss you.
I need you.
I want you.
Please let me be yours
So you can forever be mine.
I love you Aaron K. A. T.

All those who laugh shall be call those who doesn't know the true meaning of true love

Being Indecisive

I don't know what to think anymore
I know that I'm very bad in making choices of my own
Maybe that's why I'm always indecisive
because I'm scared of making the wrong decision
and maybe that's why I let other people decide for me
People that I trust
and people that I can rely on.
However,
in the end
everyone will tell me to make my own decision.
They will tell me to do what I want.

When I know what I want to do
People around me will always ask me
"How are you going to achieve it?"
"Where will you go to achieve it?"
"Do you have enough money to go there?"
"Did your parents agree?"
"Why don't you tell your parents about it?"

When I did as told and tell them what they want to hear
They will always say
"Oh...that's good then"
"Good for you"
"Good luck"
"Hopefully you'll succeed"
It's nice to hear such way of thinking

However,
It's always the word 'but' that spoils everything

"but...didn't you hear that the place you're going is bad?"
"but...I heard that the place there doesn't serve well"
"but...I heard the students there are all bad influenced"
"but...isn't it too far from where your parents are staying?"
"but...I don't think you'll get use to the environment, it's really bad"
"but...isn't it better if you stay?"
"but...you're a girl, don't you think it's dangerous?"

The words 'what if-' is also very annoying

"what if...you get raped?"
"what if...you forget about your family?"
"what if...you don't have any money left?"
"what if...the people there treat you bad?"
"what if...you don't succeed?"

All these negative thoughts will then make my decision look bad.
That's why I always leave it up to other people to decide for me.
Because I know that's it's good for me.
I know I sound like a kid
who only relies on her mother for support.
Maybe this is what they call
facing the big world on your own
without the help from your parents.
So this is how it feels to be scared to the real world.
It's not only scary,
it's frightening.

Alcoholic Beverage - The Good and Bad

Modeled by Francesca Lornna J.

As we all know,
alcoholic beverage is a drink containing enthanol
(which is also known as alcohol nowadays)
There are generally three types of classes of
alcoholic beverage:
beer, wine and spirits.
Alcoholic beverage can be an advantage
if taken moderately.
However,
it can also bring bad effects to the human body.
What are the advantages and disadvantages
of drinking alcoholic beverage?

At times and places of poor public sanitation
(such as Medieval Europe),
the consumption of alcoholic drinks
was a way of avoiding water-borne diseases
such as cholera, small beer and faux wine,
in particular,
were used for this purpose.
Although alcohol kills bacteria,
its low concentration in these beverages
would have had only a limited effect.
One study found that
men who drank moderate amounts of alcohol
three or more times a week
were up to 35% less
likely to have a heart attack
than non-drinkers,
and men who increased their alcohol consumption
by one drink a day
over the 12 years of the study
had a 22% lower risk of heart attack.

However,
alcohol intoxication affects the brain,
causing slurred speech,
clumsiness,
and delayed reflexes.
Besides that,
getting drunk at least once a month
puts women
at a significantly increased risk of heart attack,
negating any of alcohol's potential protective effect.
Long-term moderate or short-term excessive (binge) drinking
has been linked to dementia;
it is estimated that
between 10% to 24% of dementia cases
are caused by alcohol consumption,
with women being at greater risk than men.
Alcoholism is associated with a type of alcohol-related dementia
called Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome,
which is caused by a deficiency in thiamine (vitamin B1).

Although taking alcoholic drinks
can bring an advantage to the body,
it can also harm the body.
In worse cases,
it brings death.

If this was a debate competition,
I would strongly
disagree to the goodness of drinking
alcoholic beverage!

Maid Sama!

Another anime
that I would love to write about in this blog.
(I know I sound like an anime freak)

Maid Sama!
also known in Japan as Kaichō wa Maid-sama!
(会長はメイド様!, lit. The Student Council President is a Maid!)
Seika High School,
once an all-boys school notorious for its wild students
and for generally being a terrifying place for girls,
has recently become a co-ed school.
With the female population still a minority
and living in fear of the over-the-top antics of the males,
Misaki Ayuzawa
takes it into her own hands to reform the school
and allow the girls to feel safe in the rough environment.
Training, studying and even becoming
the first female student council president of the school,
Misaki has gained a reputation among the male students body
as an uptight boy-hating dictator
and as a shining hope for the teachers
and fellow female students.
However,
despite her tough-as-nails appearance,
she secretly works part-time at a maid cafe
in order to support her family.
Unfortunately,
her hard-earned reputation is threatened
when the popular and somewhat impassive
Usui Takumi
takes an interest in her
after discovering her in a maid uniform after school.

Even though
I've only watched 2 of it's episodes
I definitely can't wait to watch the rest!
It's a really interesting anime
and I reckon that
shojo manga/anime fans
like me would love this too!

K-On!

One of my favourite anime
of all time!
I just watched the whole episode
of season 1 yesterday
at my sweetheart's house :3
It was freakingly awesome!

It's a story about
four Japanese high school girls
who join their school's light music club
to try to save it from being abolished.
However,
they are the only members of the club,
and at first Yui Hirasawa,
the main character,
has no experience
playing musical instruments
or
reading sheet music.
Time after time,
she eventually became
an excellent guitar player.

They all gather and form a band
called the After School Tea Time.
(平沢 唯), Hirasawa Yui as lead guitarist and lead vocalist,
(田井中 律), Tainaka Ritsu as drummer,
(秋山 澪), Akiyama Mio as bassist and vocalist
(she's only a vocalist whenever Yui forgets the lyrics of the song),
(琴吹 紬), Kotobuki Tsumugi as keyboardist,
and
(中野 梓), Nakano Azusa as a self-proclaimed novice guitarist.

(You'll only see Azu-nyan in the middle of season 1)

I can't wait for season 2!
and guess what
I've already watch the first episode of season 2!!
Muahahahaha!!