My New Companion - Headaches

SPM is just around the corner
and of course everyone in class is struggling for their lives
to hope that they will get good results for their SPM
Including me

So what did I do ?
I burned the midnight oil
and
I had lack of sleep
True
that It wasn't healthy
Because afterward
I slept per week which was worth per month of sleep
Which is why
I think
I experience headache
no appetite
sudden rise in temperature
obsess in sleeping


According to WebMD
(click it for evidence)
oversleeping is actually a medical disoder
which may cause
anxiety
low energy/slow metabolism
memory lost
diabetes
obesity
headache
back pain
depression
heart disease
what's worst
death

So beware~

He's My Drug

He is like a drug
A medicine
which cures all of my sickness
He is like a gift
A really special gift from the father above
A gift which was given
to an unworthy person like me

Maybe God heard my prayer
my cry
my yell
Maybe that's why he calls me
right after I post 'Suicidal'

It seems that
God hasn't abandon me
God had never abandon me all this while
He'll help those who really needs him
and I thank him for the great things he have done
towards a being like me

Maybe the great depression
was because of my heart
which is longing for his love.
It's been a while now
But we still last
Believe it or not
Long distance relationship
can't break us both down
all it takes is
trust
passion
faith
strength

+I can never live without him+

Suicidal

I don't know what's going on to me lately
I've been feeling really depress inside me
Until I feel suicidal

I don't know why
I can't get satisfied from sleeping
I feel like I just want to sleep the whole day
Even though I would get headache after that
I'd still want to sleep
I ever had a dream
Where my sweetheart was telling me
"Don't sleep too much, you could die from sleeping too much"
When I think back
Maybe God is telling me something
But no matter what I do
I still want to sleep
It's like I've turned into a sloth

I feel useless at the same time
I could just have studied or do my homework
or do my revision or anything that I can benefit
But why on Earth
do I want to sleep the whole day??

My memories and knowledge
are fading little by little
I couldn't even remember the simplest thing
Like when I last took my shower

I feel very dumb
I don't feel like studying
Even when my teachers gave us some worksheets to be done
I couldn't even stand a minute answering it

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!

I don't wish to be a useless person in the future
I don't wish to regret what I've done
I don't wish to depend on people
I want to be independent
I want to be successful
I want to do wonderful things
I want to be the woman that I want to be
Strong in faith
Caring
Loving
Smart
Beautiful
Not
Idiotic
Egoist
Pessimist
Emotional
Weak

But what's happening to me?
I don't wish to be like this
Where's the dream I use to have?
Where's the hope that I wish for?
Where's the strength that belongs to me?
Where?


I'm crying behind the smiles
I don't really show it
Unless I really can't stand it anymore
Right now
Right here
I want to cry
I feel very suicidal
I want a shoulder to cry
Even though I know my friends are there for me
But why am I still feeling lonely?
Why am I still feeling sad?

Oh God
Forgive me for my thoughts of death
I don't wish to be like this
Give me the strength once more
To live another day fully for you
and for everyone else
Take away my sadness and sorrows
Replace it with your care and love
Shower me with your most precious blood
Send your holy spirit to guide me in my journey
To find the light and truth
and you
Amen

Thoughts

I stared at my cell phone.
Suddenly,
I felt an urge to call him.
I tried to ignore the feeling,
but it just keeps on getting stronger and stronger.
So,
I held up my cell phone
and dial his number.
My heart was beating fast
as I pressed his cell phone number.
Finally, I press the green button.
I held my cell phone to my right ear.
I can listened the casual tut sound.
..tut tut..
What should I say when he picks up the phone?
..tut tut..
Oh no, he's going to pick up the phone soon. What to do?
..tut tut..
I'll just act casual, I think.
..tut tut..
I wonder if he's busy?
..tut tut..
Maybe I called at the wrong time.
..tut tut..
Maybe he's sleeping.
..tut tut..
He won't pick up the phone
..the number that you have dial is bla bla bla..
I guess I'll just leave a missed call.
Then, I pressed the red button.

I called the second time.
He answered the phone this time.
"Hello?"
"Hello"
"How are you?"
"I'm fine"
"That's good"
"Where are you?"
"I'm with my friends. I'll reload my phone and call you tonight, okay?"
"Okay"
"Bye"
"Bye"
Then, we both put the phone down.
I wasn't upset
because I can't talk to him.
I was glad
that he's going to call me tonight
and we'll be able to talk as long as we want.
Hehe <3

Sleeping Problems

Okay so..
Lately,
I've been having sleeping problems
It's not like I can't sleep
I just can't stop sleeping (x_x)

I know I've been sleeping too much
Because today
Right after school when I reached home (1.30pm)
I straight away head to bed
until 5.30pm
Because I have tuition at 7.15pm-9.15pm

Then after tuition when I reached home (10pm)
I straight away head to bed
until my sweetheart called

Right now it's midnight
I can't sleep
Because I've been sleeping the whole day
knowing that I have a lot of homework due
So I'll be doom by tomorrow

I know I should just get my butt on the chair
and start doing my homework
But I can't
I seriously don't know why
It's like I don't really care about it anymore

Maybe it's because of stress
Maybe my brain need some rest
Because we just finished our monthly test
well...not exactly...
I'll be having my Chemistry test on Monday (=_=)
Because my Chemistry teacher
didn't prepare any Chemistry test for us last Monday
Yay~ test~

For no reason
I'm fed up with studying
It's tiring...very very tiring
I can't imagine my life in college
It must be worse than this
D:

Examination Week

So this week
my school will be having test
Today we were test on
..Malay..
..Biology..
..Chemistry..

I <3 exams
Why?
Because I don't have to bring lots of books to school :D

We didn't had Chemistry test today
because our Chemistry teacher didn't prepare any
Our Chemistry teacher (Sir See)
Has been sick lately
And from what I heard
He had stroke :(
So sad..

Biology was fun :D
Because the paper test on my favourite topics
which are
..Chapter 5 - Inheritance..
..Chapter 6 - Variation..

I don't know why I love those two topics
more than any other topics in Biology
Maybe because
it has something to do with what will happen in the future
which is having my own children <3

Isn't she just the cutest thing?

Lately,
I've come to realize that
I have a deep passion for having children
and I'm always concern about what will my child be
if I do this or that
and what will happen to my child
if I do this or that

Likewise my sweetheart
He's born to be a father
Although,
I don't have what it takes
to be a good mother
but I am willing to learn for the better

As you may have guess
in Biology
I also love the topic where
they discuss about the formation of twins

I wish I will have a twin in the future (>_<)

Going Pink :3

Starting from August, 2009
I'm starting to like pink
Maybe it's just
because I wanna do something different
with my blog
Since my all other account are black & white in colour
Why not give the pink a Go?

..Pink..
I would describe it as something
that gives the person
a calm and sweet feeling
yet lovely <3

..Pink..
To me is Love <3
Because whenever I think about my sweetheart
the background will be pink in colour

I love pink <3

--------------------------------


However I still love Black & White
They will be my forever favourites!
because black matches with any colour in the world
likewise for the colour white
That's why
Those two colours are special

NO MORE MOVIES FOR ME!!

Yes, you heard me all right
No more movies for me anymore
Because I am a movie addict (@_@)

These are the movies I've watched since January this year









That's just this year
I didn't include last year (n_n)
Yet some of the tickets that I've watched
Is with my best friend
and my sweetheart <3

-----------------------

!SO NO MORE MOVIES FOR ME STARTING NOW!
!I SHALL READ & STUDY!

Study liker her :D

I LOVE CHOCOLATE

yummy~

Who doesn't?
Okay, so maybe not all of us are craving for chocolate
For example, my sweetheart
He hates chocolate

He told me that when he was a kid
He was crazy about chocolate
Yet he eats chocolate every single day
Until one day...
He hates the taste
and from that day...
He hates chocolate

Oh well..
Opposite attracts :)
That's why we're so crazy in love
<3